Plead the Fifth
by EmberXMystery
Summary: So the Ackermans have a bond and both Mikasa and Levi have bonded to Eren and Levi is trying to get Eren to kill Zeke. Yeah... this is trash. Meant to be funny.
1. Plead the Fifth

Note: Please don't give me hate for shipping this. I don't support pedophilia and this was just meant to be funny and amusing. I ship a closer age-gap ereri with fluff, not smut.

Sorry if you don't like it, just ignore this.

* * *

Eren, Mikasa, and Armin walked out of the building silently to find Captain Levi there in the middle of the field with Zeke behind him.

"Captain Levi?" Eren asked, walking up to him. "What are you doing here?"

"I want you to eat this dumb piece of shit here," Levi scoffed, gesturing towards Zeke who raised a hand in a half-wave. "He's annoying me."

"W-wait…" Eren said, pausing, confused. "You… I'm not going to be destroyed? Wouldn't you rather someone else inherit his power?"

"No you idiot," Levi grumbled, "We decided that you're gonna eat this piece of shit and then _not_ die."

"Why, Captain?" Eren asked quietly. "I've killed a bunch of people and lost practically all sense of morality. Why don't you want me dead? I know you hate senseless death…"

Levi turned away from Eren, scowling. "Because… well…. Um, because I believe in you. And I don't fucking know why."

"Dammit!" Eren shouted. "You bonded to me, too? Why does everyone bond to me?"

"Bond?" Levi asked, confusion written all over his face. "What's that?"

"Wow," Zeke murmured, shaking his head, from where he was imprisoned. "Eren you _slut_! I can't believe you bonded with two of them?!"

"First Mikasa and then you," Eren sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. "Don't tell me you are fawning over me too," he muttered sarcastically.

Levi stared at him emotionlessly, pausing in an awkward silence. "I plead the fifth."

"WHAT!?" Eren roared, catching the implication of Levi's statement. He turned away, his face heating up, unable to look at Levi anymore.

From behind them, Mikasa scoffed, "Just another reason for me to kill the shorty."

At the same time, Armin shouted, "BOOM!" raising his hands in the air and stepping back. "I CALLED IT YOU FOOLS!"

Amidst the chaos, Zeke quietly muttered, "We gonna fight here, guys, or…"

"One minute and then I'll rip you limb from limb," Levi said cooly, giving Zeke a death glare.

Eren sat down on the ground with his elbows on his knees and his hands holding his head, his eyes wide in confusion. "I don't know… I don't know what's happening…. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"Well, apparently you bonded with two Ackermans," Zeke said, the first to speak up, "and one of them is trying to protect you like a brother, and the other wants me dead, and yet, doesn't want you to die. So I guess, instead, I'll kill everyone here. I mean, I am the worst of all of you (And in the entire series). That's why you are _supposed_ to be killing me." Zeke chuckled maniacally.

"Stuff it," Levi growled. "Though… everything except the killing everyone is pretty accurate, I'll admit. Eren, get yourself together and eat this asshole. I'm sick of hearing his voice."

Eren blinked rapidly, trying to make his brain function as he shakily got to his feet, "Um… yeah. Okay. I should… should… do that…" Eren raised his hand to his mouth, to bite his thumb, slowly before stopping, "...Levi?"

"Eren," Levi sighed. "You had better hurry up or—"

"Yeah," Eren interrupted. "Just… I want to talk, to you, afterwards…." Eren had his eyes closed and his head turned down and away, refusing to look at Levi's face.

Levi stared at him, weighing his options. Finally he sighed and muttered, "If you kill this asshole, I'll talk all you want."

"FINALLY!" Zeke cried in triumph. "We can fight!"

Armin and Mikasa stared at the scene, both confused, "... da faq?"

Shakily, Eren raised his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumb. A spurt of blood dribbled from his hand as Eren removed his teeth and tried again more forcefully. Again, nothing happened.

"Eren… what the fuck," Levi glowered.

"Are… are you too distracted to titan shift?" Armin asked, genuinely wondering despite his own suspicions.

"Oh my god," Levi sighed, marching up to Eren. "You can't titan shift? Because you're too distracted? What kind of bullshit is this?"

Eren swallowed, blood still speckling the corners of his mouth. "L-Levi?"

"I swear if you kick him again I'll—" Mikasa started to say before Armin covered Mikasa's mouth with his hand, not looking at her as he hissed, " _SHhhhhHHHH. Mikasa. This is my OTP. Don't ruin this for once, please!_ Let's just see how things play out."

"Eren… if you don't turn into a titan," Levi threatened, letting his words hang in the air.

"...Then what…?" Eren asked, swallowing the thick spit welling up in his throat.

Levi took a step closer to Eren— a step closer than he needed to. Levi's lips were pursed in an intense scowl as he took another step closer to Eren. Eren wanted to step back but he felt rooted in place with Levi barely a foot away.

Levi's eyes flashed around for an instant. He saw Armin staring and Mikasa scowling with Armin's hand still covering her mouth. Zeke was whistling in the background, watching the show before him unfold.

Levi sighed, not even sure, himself of what he was going to do. He shuffled on foot forward, deliberately, bringing him and Eren almost chest to chest.

So close up, Levi could feel the height difference increase. It was annoying. Eren was looking down at Levi, his eyes flickering to Levi's lips as he tried to keep his composure.

To shorten the distance between them, Levi shifted his weight to the tips of his toes and leaned up to Eren, putting his face close to Eren's cheek.

He leaned so close that his lips were brushing the edge of Eren's as he spoke. "Eren," he whispered so quietly that only Eren could hear, "If you turn into a titan… then… I'll tell you exactly what's going on."

"H-Huh?" Eren stuttered, confused and flustered.

Levi quirked his eyebrow up, the edge of his lip lifting in the smallest smirk. He hesitated before leaning away from Eren and shifted his head just slightly so that his lips brushed over Eren's. Levi leaned back, just slightly, and huffed, "You taste like blood." And then he leaned back and said "Or I'll kill you if you don't shift," loud enough that everyone in their company could hear him.

Eren blushed, red as a tomato and took a shaky step backwards to steady himself. "Okay… okay…" he muttered to himself, trying to get his vision to focus while he stared at his still bleeding thumb.

"You can do it Eren!" Armin called encouragingly.

"You've got this!" Mikasa added, finally freed of Armin's hand.

Eren refused to look at his friends. Not after what had just happened.

He refused to look at Levi, either, but his eyes were still drawn to him, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows raised, questioning what Eren would do.

Levi stared at him plainly, "Let's get this over with," he sighed. Then, so quiet that no one else could hear him, he muttered, "I better have not done that for nothing," his cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink as he remembered how close he had been to Eren… how he had leaned up towards him...

Eren gulped, trying to clear his head. Levi nodded at him reassuringly, despite the fact that Eren didn't feel especially reassured. Still, he wanted to talk to Levi afterwards and figure out _what the fuck_ had just happened.

He felt his face redden again as he turned away from Levi and raised his other hand to his mouth.

He could do this.

The world went quiet while Eren centered himself and thought about all that Zeke had done. Thought about how many times he had hurt him and his friends.

And he thought about how much he wanted Zeke to die.

Eren bit down on his thumb, right as an image of Levi passed across his mind— an image of Levi staring at him with a mixture of pride and contempt… but something else. A sort of… confusion and curiosity that gleamed behind his eyes.

And in that moment, as blood spurted from his thumb, Eren transformed into his titan, his body growing larger and larger as his mind grew blank.

Levi stepped back beside Armin and Mikasa to watch as Eren scooped up Zeke, who had seemingly given in to his demise, and ate him.

"Oy!" Levi shouted from the ground. "Get out of that gigantic body and down here!"

Through the fog in his mind, Eren heard heard Levi and tried to focus. He needed to get out.

And then he felt himself being pulled from the warm meat of the titan body, two arms under his.

"Disgusting," Levi muttered as he dragged Eren out of the titan body, steam swirling around both of them.

Slowly, Eren blinked his eyes open, regaining consciousness. "Levi…" he murmured as the Captain's face came into view above him, his narrowed eyes staring down at Eren.

Eren put his arms behind him and pushed himself into a sitting position. He twisted his body, getting ready to stand, when he saw a hand in front of him. Blinking, Eren stared at the outstretched hand, his eyes trailing up the arm in disbelief as he tried to comprehend Levi extending his hand out to him.

"Do you want to stand or not?" Levi asked dryly.

Eren bent his head, trying not to flush red as he gripped Levi's hand and stood up with Levi's help.

Levi grabbed his elbow and kept a hold of his hand, making sure that Eren was steady on his feet before he let go.

"Levi…" Eren murmured again, the fog in his brain steadily clearing.

"Hmph," Levi muttered taking the slightest step back from Eren and turning his head away to hide the still-present blush. "Fine. I guess I won't kill you."

"L-Levi," Eren stuttered. "So… um…"

"Yes?" Levi muttered, impatient.

"You— you said you would… talk… with me." Eren told him, gathering all of the courage he had.

Eren squinted his eyes closed, waiting to hear Levi's reply while Armin pulled Mikasa aside to give Levi and Eren some 'privacy' despite peering out from behind the crates of supplies nearby.

"Alright," Levi consented, still not looking at Eren, "What do you want to talk about?"

Eren blushed, trying to get over his fumbling words, "I… you… you kissed me," he said in a rush, words pouring out of his mouth as his face grew even more red with heat.

Levi looked up at the sky pensively. "No… I don't believe I did."

"Then… then what was that!" Eren yelped, panicked.

"Motivation," Levi answered simply.

"So… let me get this straight," Eren said, trying to puzzle it out. "Levi… you… bonded? With me? And then you… kissed me? Wait, no— sorry— 'motivated' me?"

"Yeah? And what?" Levi asked dully.

"Levi!" Eren shouted, flustered, "You kissed me!"

Levi took a step closer towards Eren, his face never changing. "And I'll do it again if you don't shut up," Levi warned, leaning close to Eren.

Eren gasped, trying to form words. "I-I— L-Le—"

Levi snorted lightly, shaking his head. "You aren't shutting up…"

Eren gulped. "L-Levi… do you… what do you—?"

"See? You just won't shut up," Levi sighed, lowering his head before he locked his eyes with Eren's. He reached out and gently grasped the front of Eren's shirt in his fist, pulling Eren close to him. "I guess we're doing it again then?"

Eren swallowed, his eyes wide as they darted between Levi's calculating stare and his lips.

Slowly, Levi leaned his head up towards Eren. He could feel the heat still coming off of Eren and see he marks, from shifting, disappearing from his face.

And then Levi closed the distance, pressing his lips to Eren's. Eren's eyes fluttered with surprise and then he melted into Levi's lips, still not sure what to do. Levi released Eren's shirt and moved his hands to Eren's back so that he could hold Eren to him.

Eren was so warm. Levi felt his eyes drift closed as he was lost in the moment of bliss.

Eren leaned into Levi, finally getting over his shock and moving his hands, one to Levi's back and the other to his arm. Eren leaned into Levi, holding him close as well and further cementing their kiss as a kiss.

There was no space between them as they kissed and held onto each other until Levi withdrew his hands slightly and took a step back, panting softly to get air back into his lungs. "There," he muttered the smallest smirk playing across his lips.

Levi fully retracted his arms and Eren dropped to the ground in surprise— too weak-kneed to stand.

Behind the crates, Mikasa was too busy tending to Armin who had practically passed out watching to see Eren fall to the ground.

Before Eren could say anything, Levi turned to leave, a light blush appearing on his face.

Eren blinked rapidly, trying to get his mind and mouth to work together to form words. "L-Levi?"

Levi shook his head, walking away. As he did, he muttered to himself, "Stupid brat. Making me kiss him." Levi snorted, "Why am I like this?"

He glanced back at Eren who was staring off into space, a light steam coming off of his tomato-red face as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

A small smile appeared at the edge of Levi's lips as he put the back of one finger to his lips, feeling the warmth of Eren in his mind.

He shook his head, turning away form Eren and walking back inside. "Heh," he murmured, "I guess I might know what this 'bond' thing is after all…"


	2. Wild Stallion

Note: 'eyyyy the chapter no one asked for or wanted but my close friend and I wrote anyway!

This was just a fun story. Nothing serious. Just a nice relaxing story to write and laugh about.

Also, here is my friend's comic if anyone is interested: /dcvechp

* * *

As Eren lay as if dead on the ground, his face as red as a tomato, Mikasa tended to him and Armin. Neither Armin nor Eren we're able to answer Mikasa's questions as they sat and lay on the ground.

From around the side of the building, Jean walked out to see Armin sitting up, Mikasa kneeling beside them, and Eren still lying on the ground.

Jean walked up to them, smirking, and casually asked, "'Ey! Armin… Eren… what happened to you two? Yo Mikasa? What'd I miss?"

Mikasa looked up at him, her eyebrows creased in confusion. "I'm not… I'm not sure. Armin was acting super squirrelly a moment ago and then he just… passed out. And now Eren is passed out too…"

Armin looked up to Jean and then over at Eren. "E-E-Eren… and… and the Captain…" he murmured.

"What?" Jean asked, trying to sound nonchalant despite the fact that he genuinely wanted to know what the heck happened to Eren.

Armin pointed to Eren weakly, telling Jean to ask him.

Jean rolled his eyes and leaned closer to Eren to glare at him smugly. "So… dumbass, what'd you do? Knock yourself in the head with a broom?"

Eren blinked unresponsively, his mind still in a daze and not processing that Jean was there. "The… the Captain…" Eren murmured to himself reaching up to touch his lips gingerly. "He… he ki—" Eren cut himself off, shaking his head and finally realizing that Jean was there. "When did you get here, Horse-Face?"

Jean scoffed, "He seems fine to me, now. He insulted me the exact same way, anyway. So, Eren, did you or did you not hit your head?"

Pushing himself into a sitting position, Eren scoffed, "Oh, you wish."

Eren rolled himself up onto his feet, groaning as he did and averting his eyes from everyone. He could still feel his face warm with embarrassment and shock.

"So, Eren?" Mikasa said lightly. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Eren muttered. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm completely fine."

"Eh?" Jean muttered.

Armin refused to make eye contact with anyone either and settled for his face being scrunched up and his eyes wide as he stared at everyone, especially Eren.

"Armin," Jean said slowly, "What's wrong with your face?"

"Nothing…" Armin answered suspiciously.

Eren shook his head frantically waving his arms and trying to tell Armin to cut it out. Jean and Mikasa turned their attention to Eren. Panicking, Eren yelped "Yeah, Armin! Nothing happened! Nope nothing!"

"Yeah, like I believe that for a second," Jean scoffed.

Mikasa looked at Eren, pleading him with her eyes. "Eren, Armin, please tell us what happened."

Eren put his hand to his forehead in exasperation. "Mikasa, I said _nothing_ happened. I'm fine. Can you please just let it go?"

Armin seemed to be attempting (and failing) to make himself disappear into the shadows as he stayed quiet and scrunched himself down so he looked smaller.

Jean turned to Armin, noticing his distress. "Armin, do you have something to say?" he asked.

"NOPE!" Armin shouted in return, twisting his face into a smile. "Not a thing! Ha ha. Why would you say that? I have nothing to hide."

" _Armin!_ " Eren yelped his face turning even more pink.

Jean leaned towards Eren, his eyebrows raised in question. "Alright. Tell us you little shit. What happened? I heard something about the Captain?"

"Yeah, Levi was here," Mikasa told him. "Eren was ordered to eat Zeke so now he's gone… Then Levi and Eren were talking close to each other and Armin passed out and when I looked back up at Eren, Levi was gone."

"So, Armin," Jean said, resting his elbow on Armin's shoulder and leaning into him. "Why did you pass out? What'd you see?"

"I-I didn't!" Armin protested, stuttering as he froze up. "I don't know—- I don't know what you are talking about! NOTHING HAPPENED."

Behind him, while Armin was talking, Eren tried to sneak away, edging backwards steadily.

Jean turned around slowly, releasing Armin to grab Eren by the back of his shirt. "And WHERE do you think you are going? I know something's up and I will not rest until I find out what!"

"Oh no you won't!" Eren protested snidely. "'Cause guess what, Horse Face? There's nothing to find out! You can't find what doesn't exist!"

Mikasa sighed, reaching her hands out tentatively as though debating whether or not to grab Eren away from Jean. "Eren, please, just tell me what happened!"

"Yeah," Jean scoffed, "You can't lie to your sister! Spill the beans!"

"Jean…" Eren said darkly, an almost-fog seemingly appearing around him as he spoke, "You know I could beat you anytime."

"Eh?" Jean cried, "When have you ever beaten me? … without your titan form," he added.

Eren smirked, none of the darkness going away. "Heh. Don't you remember all of those times I beat you?"

Jean looked away, glaring. "Maybe you beat me once with that trick that Annie taught you… but that doesn't count for anything!"

"So you admit it!" Eren shouted enthusiastically.

"What!?" Jean roared, "No!"

" _Enough!"_ Mikasa cried. "Both of you need to stop fighting and calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere. Jean, I agree we should figure out what happened, but do I not want you fighting Eren."

"Yeah…" Armin piped up. "Don't fight right now, guys. So what if Eren may have—" Armin cut himself off of what he was saying by slapping a hand to cover his mouth.

"Armin… what was that you were saying?" Jean asked slowly, taking a step closer to Armin as though to capture him if he attempted escape.

Armin shook his head, his hand still over his mouth.

"Come on, Armin," Jean said slowly like he was talking to a wounded animal. "Tell me. Come now… you know you want to tell us…"

Behind Jean, so that only Armin could see, Eren was shaking his head 'no' frantically, a distinctive pink blush to his cheeks.

"Armin," Eren said softly, drawing the other's attention, "Armin, don't you dare. Don't you dare tell him."

"Tell me what?" Jean cried while at the same time Mikasa yelped "Tell him what?"

Mikasa breathed deeply and focused on making herself appear non-threatening to Eren. "Come on, Eren. If you tell us, we can just stop bothering you…."

"I'm not telling you because nothing happened!" Eren protested .

"Hey, Armin…" Jean said slyly. "The Captain was a part of this… Right?"

"He… he was here….." Armin stuttered, his voice trailing off.

Jean scoffed, standing up as he turned his gaze towards Mikasa. "Mikasa, Let's go ask the Captain. He won't want to deal with us bothering him so we might be able to get answers quickly."

"Or he'll just kill you!" Armin yelped.

"He wouldn't do that," Mikasa said blatantly. "But… then again… if we got Hanji involved…"

"You're right," Jean agreed, a mischievous glint shining in his eye. "Levi would do anything to get them to shut up."

"Nooo!" Eren objected loudly, scrambling to his feet as best he could, "Wait!"

"Nope!" Jean cried almost cheerfully. "You're coming and we're finding that crazy scientist."

"W-wait, Jean, Mikasa," Armin argued with Eren. "We can talk about this!"

"Nah," Jean laughed, picking up Armin like a sack of potatoes and slinging him over his shoulder. "Mikasa? Do you have Eren?"

Eren tried to make a break for it, dashing out of her grasp and trying to run away from the main building as quickly as possible. … But Mikasa was faster.

She caught up to him quickly and grabbed him before picking him up over her shoulder and carrying him.

Jean had moved Armin to his back, as though he were giving a child a piggy-back ride by the time Mikasa and Eren returned, Eren yelling and cursing the whole way.

"Good!" Jean smirked, "We're all here and ready to go find a mad scientist in order to con our Captain."

They set off into the survey Corps main building, walking down the hallways with Jean and Mikasa carrying their respective passengers. Armin had resigned himself to the mission and was talking to Jean about some of the experiments he had heard of Hanji doing while Eren grumbled annoyedly at Mikasa and Jean, insulting them both as much as he could.

Any time they passed one of the soldiers, they were given weird looks as people walked away quickly, knowing not to mess with either Mikasa or Eren, when he was angry.

Finally, they reached Hanji's lab where they could hear explosions and shouting erupting from within. Mildly concerned as to what they would find, Mikasa was the first to open the door with Armin peering around Jean's shoulder to see inside while Eren pouted, facing the wrong direction to see.

The lab was a fog of chemicals and a whirlwind of research notes, torturing tools, and forgotten beakers that had been cast aside.

In the middle of all of the (probably toxic) chemicals, Hanji stood with their hair standing up on end and their face half blackened from an explosion that was still smoking.

They hadn't noticed them open the door or approach until Jean coughed to announce their presence and Hanji turned around with a start, looking at them with wide eyes.

"Cadets! Hi! Eren! Hi! What are… what are you guys doing here?" Hanji asked, shoving the papers they were holding to the side and pushing their goggles up their nose.

"Hello, Hanji," Mikasa said, taking lead of the conversation before anyone else could.

"Eren," Hanji said, immediately stepping closer to inspect how Mikasa was carrying Eren. "How are you? You don't look very happy since Mikasa is dragging you here… So… what do you four need from me? Is it… is it urgent? Not that I don't like talking to you but…"

Armin shifted again so he could see Hanji better. "Sorry for the intrusion!"

"Yeah," Jean interrupted, "but I think you'll want to hear this. Apparently something happened to Eren that he won't tell us about."

Eren turned his head away from Hanji and the others, his face heating up again at the mention of everything that had happened.

"Armin mentioned something about Captain Levi—" Jean continued before Hanji interrupted him, jumping up to the duo, their eyes gleaming.

"OOH! What happened?!"

"Wait…" Mikasa stepped in, "Hanji… aren't you busy? What are you doing over here anyway?"

"Oh, this?" Hanji said, gesturing to the to the explosion behind them. The smoke was clearing to reveal a strange metal contraption with spikes and explosives and containers to hold the explosives in. "This is my new Titan Keeper! It's to see if explosives affect the titans! I'm wondering if bright flashes of light after a period of darkness affects them, as well."

"Ah… okay," Mikasa replied.

"Can… can we leave?" Armin asked.

Eren persisted in his pouting, muttering, "Yes. Please. Let me leave."

"Of course not!" Hanji replied, barely glancing at Eren. "Something happened with the Captain?! I _have_ to know what this is. This is prime news."

"Well, _this_ dumbass," Jean muttered, pointing his thumb towards Eren, "Won't tell us so…"

" _Then!"_ Hanji paused dramatically, standing before them with their hands on their hips as triumphantly as possible. "THEN WE SHALL GO TO LEVI!"

"Oh no," Eren groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"Oh, yes," Hanji retorted, grabbing Mikasa's free hand and dragging her and Eren behind them as they raced out of the hall, Jean and Armin followed behind as quickly as they could.

Hanji seemed to know _exactly_ where Levi was and they found him doing the exact opposite of what Hanji was doing. Instead of making a huge mess, Levi was standing on a chair, cleaning the top of a window with a cloth tied around his hair and mouth as he wiped at the dust carefully.

He, too, didn't notice the group walk in until it was too late.

Hanji yelled "HI LEVI!" startling him into stumbling and falling off of the chair and collapsing in a pile on the floor. Somehow, he still managed to fall gracefully, like a cat, despite ending up a mess with the cloth he had been cleaning with covering his head.

With a glare that could induce death, Levi turned and looked up menacingly towards Hanji, not looking at Eren or Mikasa or Armin or Jean.

"GOD DAMMIT HANJI!" Levi yelled, scaring everyone present, _except_ for Hanji. "I WAS CLEANING. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

Eren was blushing as red as a tomato, burying himself into Mikasa's shoulder while trying not to die. He looked up towards Levi in concern, trying to speak through his blush. "L-Levi-Heichou, are… are you okay?"

Beside him, Armin was trying not to not to die of laughter and excitement. Even Mikasa and Jean were smiling and trying not to laugh at their captain.

In her weakened and shocked state, Mikasa was weak enough to let go of Eren and let him roll to the ground pathetically. He scrambled across the floor until he reached Levi, stood up,and reached out trying to help Levi up from the floor.

Levi glanced up at Eren, pausing while a light blush heated up his face. He hesitated, turning away so he could re-adjust his face so he wasn't blushing anymore."Tch, Damn brat," Levi said, knocking away Eren's hand, somehow gently, hesitating at the contact for a brief second. "I don't need help to stand up."

"So! So! Levi!" Hanji said enthusiastically, unphased by Levi's frustration. "I heard that something happened?"

Levi glared at them, his eyes barely glancing over Eren, avoiding him. He stood up and dusted himself off, despite there was clearly being no dust around the ground. " _What_ happened?" he asked. "This had better not be a waste of my time."

Jean stepped forward, dropping Armin off of his back and letting him stand on his own. "I walked in on Eren looking like a freaking idiot in the ground and Armin unable to speak. Now I hear that it has something to do with you but _that_ dumbass won't tell me what," Jean explained, once again gesturing to Eren who was standing up slowly behind Levi.

"And now we want to know what happened!" Hanji finished.

Levi whirled around, facing Eren. "Is this true, Eren?"

Eren ducked his head, blushing even more. "Y-yes, sir. But nothing happened, right?" Eren looked intensely at Levi, hoping he would understand what Eren was wanting him to do. "Tell them."

"Remember, Levi?" Armin interjected. "You and Eren just talked. That's all, right?"

"What a load of Bullshit," Jean scoffed. "That's like saying that all Marco— Nevermind. Tell the truth Captain!"

"YEAH!" Hanji agreed. "What actually happened!"

Levi stared at everyone in turn until his eyes finally settled on Eren for a minute longer than anyone else's. Slowly, fluidly, Levi shrugged and simply said "I just… motivated Eren to Titan shift."

Levi watched as Eren's face paled as he stared at Levi, slack-jawed.

"And what was this 'motivation?'" Hanji asked, catching on that there was something more to the story.

"What do you think motivation is, four-eyes?" Levi asked, acting dumbfounded by their question.

A pause of silence went around the room as Levi silently dared anyone to question him further while Armin, Eren, and Levi kept the secret to themselves.

No one said anything.

After the longest moment, Levi sighed and leaned down to pick up the cloth he had been using to clean with. "Fine. If everyone is done bothering me, let me finish cleaning. This room is filthy. Especially after all of you dragged in your filthy mud and experiments and shit inside."

"Right!" Armin agreed in a rush, grabbing Mikasa and Jean's arms. "We will be… leaving now!"

Jean was obviously enraged by the denial of the story and being forced out the room but Mikasa was only mildly annoyed and resigned herself to helping drag Jean out of the room.

"But _Captain!"_ Hanji protested like a child. "You're no fun. I do swear that I'll figure this out eventually."

With that menacing promise and a quick gesture that Hanji would be watching Levi, they left, leaving Eren lingering alone in the room with Levi.

"So," Levi said softly before Eren could leave, "You didn't tell them but you made it as obvious as you could?" without waiting for a response he shook his head slowly and muttered, "Ridiculous."

"I-I… I didn't know what to do," Eren said softly. "You made me flustered."

Levi breathed out a puff of air from his nose in a breath of laughter. "Well, don't stay in here talking. That's even more suspicious. Maybe try to convince them that they are all being insane."

"Yeah, okay," Eren replied, turning to leave. "I'll see you around later?" he asked as he walked towards the door backwards, tripping over a miscellaneous bucket and catching himself on the door.

Levi shook his head, mildly amused by Eren being flustered before he turned back to cleaning. "Of course, Eren. We're in the same squad. We see each other around all of the time."

Eren nodded and walked out of the door before he could make a bigger mess of himself. "Okay. Yeah."

After walking out, Eren found himself faced with the same four who had been bothering him for the last… forever.

"Hanji," Eren sighed before they could say anything, "For the hundredth time, it wasn't anything weird. Captain does everything for a reason, and he doesn't do anything that should cause so much suspicion from everyone. He was just trying to motivate me to be able to Titan shift and eat Zeke."

Hanji said nothing and just leaned closer, probably hoping that he would respond to silent intimidation.

Eren sighed loudly and took a step to dodge around them. "So, please, just let it go. I have to go to the bathroom anyway."

"Ugh,"Hanji sighed, taking a step back and letting Eren get past them. "Fine. That's all the questioning for today, I guess. I should finish up those experiments anyway… I'll see all of you later!"

Without giving time for anyone to respond, Hanji took off, dashing away to their lab to go blow up more things.

Armin breathed a sigh of relief, hoping that he and Eren would be left alone finally. "Oh thank gods. Anyway, Eren says he needs to go to the restroom. So how about we disband this mob, let him rest,and give him some privacy?"

Eren glared intensely at Armin. How could he have made it any more obvious? It didn't surprise him that Armin had figured out that he just needed some alone time to think, but _geez_ he didn't have to be _that_ opaque about it.

"Fine," Mikasa murmured. "Go ahead, Eren."

Jean paused, reluctant to let his prey go. "Yeah," he conceded, "just go. I don't want to follow you everywhere you maniac."

"Thank you," Eren breathed sarcastically while he walked away towards the bathroom, just glad to be able to finally escape.

He found the nearest bathroom and walked in without thinking, heading straight towards the mirror above the sink. Slowly he turned on the water and splashed some on his face. He looked up at himself with his hands still covering his face and water dripping from the tips of his hair… and that's when he panicked.

"This _can't_ be happening! This _CANNOT_ be happening! Oh my god. _Oh my god!_ _Oh my fucking god._ I cannot believe that— that captain Levi—! And that Jean and Mikasa and Hanji—! And that Armin saw! And they tried to interrogate me! And Captain was… he- ! And I can't believe that earlier… that captain Levi— that Levi…" Eren paused, swallowing as he looked distractedly at himself in the mirror where he stared of distantly, lost in memory, "That Levi… kissed me."

"WHAT?!" Eren heard Connie scream from out of nowhere behind him.

Eren closed his eyes, already sensing the hell he was about to face. "Fuck."

"Levi did what now?" Connie yelped, suddenly appearing from a stall in the bathroom. Eren was regretting not checking to see if anyone was there. "Did I hear that right? What the fuck, man?"

"I...uh… I said that Levi… um… missed me—" Eren fumbled.

Connie raised an eyebrow, not believing him.

"Um… wait," Eren panicked, realizing that 'missed' made it sound romantic too. "Wait. No. Shit. Like he…. Missed… hitting me… with… a … sword….." Eren mumbled, grasping for straws. He knew that his explanation was failing, but he was ready to try anything to get himself out of the massively screwed up situation that he had gotten himself into.

"Eren?" Connie laughed disbelievingly. "Huh? What? Normally I have trouble following your conversations, but I'm more confused this time than usual."

Eren started edging towards the door, turning so that he could walk away from Connie. "Yeah… anyway… I'm just gonna…" Eren let his sentence fall away as he began to walk quickly towards the door.

As he neared the door, he could hear Jean outside, muttering to himself and Armin. "Where is that damn suicidal idiot? How long does it take to use the loo?"

" _Shiiit,"_ Eren lamented as he turned back to Connie, forging a smile on his face.

"So will you explain to me what happened?" Connie asked, his arms spread wide in confusion.

"NOTH _ING_ ," Eren moaned, exasperated from all of the asking.

"Eren," Connie chuckled, taking a step forward. "I'm not stupid—"

"That's debatable."

"So I know you are hiding something," Connie continued, his eyes narrowing slightly at Eren's comment. "What happened? I'm your friend, right? Why can't you tell me?"

Behind him, Eren heard Jean raise his voice slightly, "(Freckled) Jesus, Eren are you taking a shit in there? Having trouble? Hurry up!"

"Ehg?" Eren replied, annoyed. "Are you waiting for me? God, Jean, are you that desperate for attention?"

"Eren," Connie started, "I know something's up and it has to do with Jean and Levi. Tell me and I'll cover for you."

Eren paused, rolling his eyes and blushing, "Like I'd believe that…"

"Your choice," Connie said slyly, tilting his head towards the door.

"You know I could come in there, right?" Jean called through the doorway.

"Jean no!" Eren could hear Armin protesting behind the door.

"Jean yes!"

"Connie," Eren said, turning back to him, "I can't really explain right now. Just… pretend like you don't know anything. This WHOLE conversation _NEVER_ happened."

At that moment, the door behind him burst open as Jean, the wild stallion, burst through the door. The wood clanging and clattering with Armin looking panicked behind Jean who almost looked like a trapped racehorse bursting through.

"JESUS JEAN!" Eren shouted, jumping at the loud sound. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

Jean dashed forward and grabbed Connie by the front of his shirt. "WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?"

Connie didn't seem as intimidated as Jean would have liked as he glanced between Eren and Jean frantically. He gulped before turning to face Jean. "Jean, you are my friend. But frankly, I'm more terrified of Eren and Eren's much more powerful, crazy, and high-up 'friends.' So, I'm going to say that I know nothing about any of this and… um… stay out of this."

"WHATT?!" Jean roared, dropping Connie and turning away, putting his hands to his head angrily while he growled in frustration.

Armin and Mikasa leaned into the doorway, peering inside to see what was happening.

"Yes!" Eren cheered, pumping his fist into the air.

"Connie!" Jean whined, "That means you know something!"

"Like I just said Jean, I know nothing. Are you stupid?" Connie raised an eyebrow.

"Are YOU stupid?" Jean retaliated. "You _really_ think I'm gonna fall for that crap? At this point I just want to know out of sheer determination. I heard you talking to Eren just now, Connie. What did he say?!"

"Jean, just leave him alone," Armin pleaded, taking a step inside of the restroom.

"I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!" Eren cried, covering his head with his arms, groaning.

"Eren," Jean sighed tiredly, "Either shut up or spill."

"What's this?!" Levi shouted suddenly appearing in the doorway to investigate the crash of the door he had heard. "You dumbasses broke the door? What? Were you having trouble taking a shit and got mad at the door?"

Eren started blushing automatically and Connie joined him, blushing on Eren's behalf. "C-Captain," Connie stuttered, "It was Jean."

Levi turned his attention to Jean, ne'er acknowledging Eren. "Clean this up. Now."

"Yes, sir!" Jean said, giving a perfect salute.

Behind Levi, Eren could see Armin staring at him and mouthing obviously. _LEAVE NOW EREN._

"Y-yes… um…" Eren stuttered, moving towards the door. "I'm going to … uh… lie down for a bit."

Without waiting for a response, Eren bolted out of the room, brushing past Levi, Armin, and Mikasa and not looking behind him. He knew that his face was tomato red but he just wanted to escape everything. So much was happening. He wasn't prepared for it.

He ran outside, instead of to the barracks, and stopped in a clearing, his hands on his knees while he panted and caught his breath.

Finally, he was alone. No one was there.

Even Mikasa wasn't there. She always just… tries too hard to protect him. And questions what he does too much.

Thankfully, Armin was trying to keep everyone distracted from the fact that Eren got away. He knew that Jean was stuck cleaning the bathroom while Connie was either captured in punishment with Jean or escaping from all of the drama that had fallen into his hands.

Ironically, Levi followed Eren outside, concerned and curious. He appeared behind Eren and walked up quietly, not sure if Eren wanted him there.

Eren noticed a shadow coming up behind him and turned, falling over onto the ground in surprise. "GAH!" Eren spluttered, tired of being surprised today. "L-LEVI! Don't do that!"

Levi smirked, "I see that you are having some trouble.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about." Eren looked sideways to the ground.

Levi held out his hand to help Eren stand up and he took it gently, letting Levi pull him up but not letting go of his hand when he did. "Should I 'motivate' you to remember?" Levi asked slowly.

"What?!" Eren yelped. "No? Yes? Wait!" Eren pulled his hand way shyly, blushing even more than before.

Levi shook his head, sighing in exasperation, "Pathetic. I can't believe I bonded to you."

"So… you did bond to me?" Eren asked his voice falling in dejection.

Levi turned his head, looking off in the distance. "I guess so. I still am not entirely sure as to what you mean by it, but I have an idea."

"And what is that idea, Levi?" Eren asked softly.

Levi blushed slightly, not saying anything in reply.

"Lev—"

Before he could say anything else, Levi grabbed the front of Eren's shirt and pulled him down into a kiss.

Eren's brain seemed to short circuit as his eyes fluttered closed and his knees grew weak while he was held against Levi and as he sank into Levi's kiss. Levi pulled back, ever so slightly so that he could look into Eren's eyes.

"If being bonded to you means that I want to protect your dumb ass then… maybe I do have a stupid bond."

"Levi," Eren breathed, utterly dumbfounded before his legs gave out and he collapsed to the ground, unable to believe that Levi had kissed him again, at two separate times.

In the distance, the couple could hear someone shouting: "SO THAT'S THE 'MOTIVATION'!"

"Oh, no," Levi sighed.

"Uhhg," Eren mumbled.

Hanji came running out of the building at practically the speed of sound, screeching and smiling.

Hanji came to a halt, almost falling onto their face. "So THAT was the 'motivation' that Levi gave you! OMG Eren this is exciting!"

"Shitty Glasses I swear if you say anything about this to _anyone_ I will personally be the one to rip out your other eye!" Levi glared with the intensity of death.

Hanji put a hand to their chest looking personally offended. "But then I couldn't see this _glory_!"

Levi grabbed the front of Hanji's shirt and pulled them close to him, glaring like he was about to murder them. "I can and I will."

"But LEVI!"

Out of a window of the nearby building, Jean stuck his head out and shouted, "What's all of this yelling?"

"GET BACK TO CLEANING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Levi retorted.

Then, turning back to Hanji, Levi narrowed his eyes, "If I hear this as gossip around this group, _at all_ , I will find you and you—"

"Levi…" Eren interrupted.

"What." Levi said monotonously.

"Don't kill Hanji. Is… is anyone really going to believe anything if… if word gets out?"

Levi turned a less-intense version of his glare to Eren.

Eren, getting the message, blushed bright red and muttered, "You're right…"

"Fine, Levi," Hanji said, wiggling out of Levi's grasp and rolling their eyes. "I promise I won't say anything. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my only eye… blah blah…"

As Hanji spoke, they crossed their fingers behind their back, breaking all promises that they made, fully intending to spread the word like wildfire.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
